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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27039832">Just Keep Swimming, Until You Can't Anymore</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever/pseuds/Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever'>Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Swordfish [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Background Poly, Background Relationships, Bisexual Ondine, Character Study, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fire, Gen, Girls Kissing, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Kagami Tsurugi, Marc Anciel &amp; Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug are Cousins, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, Ondine (Miraculous Ladybug) has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rarepair, Scars, Survivor Guilt, Swimming, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:35:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27039832</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever/pseuds/Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ondine swims to get away from the flames. Both from the past and present. </p><p>But, you can only run, or swim, away from your problems for so long.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marc Anciel/Nathaniel Kurtzberg, Max Kanté/Lê Chiến Kim, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Ondine/Kagami Tsurugi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Swordfish [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2001499</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Just Keep Swimming, Until You Can't Anymore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I found Kagami/Ondine and i love it half to death. Be careful, this may be all i will post about in daaaaays.</p><p>Also, i have taken a liking to Ondine, and i was trying to make her a more well rounded character, but only managed to give her trauma. Take this with that thought in mind.</p><p>Hey, so I don't have PTSD nor do I know anyone with it. All I know of is the research I have done, feel free to politly tell me if there was anything wrong in this fic about it please!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Flames. That was all she could see. Ondine twisted her head around, searching, sobbing, for a name she had lost a long time ago; but all she saw was the orange and all she heard was the crackling. She couldn't have been more than 13 years old, but the memories made it seem like it was only the other night. </p><p>She was racing through the house, opening every door and window. Pretending like she wasn't coughing every second. The girl was crying and grieving for a person she didn't even know she missed yet. Finally she slammed open the final door almost vomited, he was there, but dead. She breathed in the smoke and fell to her knee's almost hacking up a lung. He was dead. He was dead, he was-</p><p>"ROBIN!" She screamed now, leaping up in bed in a cold sweat. It had been two years since the fire that burned down her house and took the person she cared most about. She sighed and rubbed her wet eyes, understanding the drill by now. </p><p>The 15 year old slapped her alarm clock before it went off and rubbed her temples. The nightmare had been coming and going almost every night for a year or two, but it never failed to almost send her into hysterics every morning. That is also why she began swimming every morning before school as well as after. It kept everything out of her head. </p><p>Ondine reluctantly stumbled out of bed and grabbed her swimming  and school bag, not bothering to grab breakfast or change her clothes. She just needed to get in the water. She texted her father she was leaving, so he wouldn't be scared when he got home from the hospital, and locked the door of her new and not burned house. As she was walking to her safe haven, the girl slammed turquoise headphones to try and keep her mind from becoming empty enough to think about the last day. </p><p>As she was about to start her loud music, she had to smile at her background. It was a picture of her, and a boy taken when she was eleven. The girl was smiling fully with her missing front tooth and was pressing her face to a boy with matching red hair, tan skin, and freckles. </p><p>The picture was taken at a school play, so the two were dressed up as mermaids. Ondine was terrified to go up on stage alone, so the teacher cast her twin brother Robin to be up there with her. It was one of the girls favorite memories before... before... </p><p>She shook her head, the swimmer had better things to do then to think about that night. The rest of the walk was filled with music loud enough to make a normal persons ears bleed, but Ondine wasn't normal. She was the farthest from normal. </p><hr/><p>The pool water was cold and sharp with chemicals, making it the only thing Ondine could focus on then. She had been swimming for a good couple of hours, and would've kept on going if a certain girl didn't walk through the door. It was standard, Kagami walking through the door meant that the redhead only had 5 minutes to get out of the pool or else the girl was gonna come in and get her herself. </p><p>The taller trudged her way to the locker room and quickly got dressed into jeans, a t-shirt, and a pink plaid shirt, pointedly not looking at the burn scars on her stomach and chest. She gathered her things and took her girlfriend's hand, walking out the doors. Her arms, legs, every part of her body was aching and sore from the quick laps and from the day before, but nothing was going to stop her from walking to school with her girlfriend. The routine was established when Ondine once spent nearly the whole day in the pool, her mind trying to stay on the lapping waves she sent to the tile floor when stroking.</p><p>They walked in peaceful silence, only sharing a few words here and there. That was something that the swimmer loved about Kagami, they were able to say nothing and yet say everything at the same time. She was the only one Ondine was able to tolerate silence with, she just seemed to chase away all of her demons. They walked to Ondine's school and then were to part their ways, Ondine going inside and Kagami to wait for her car to drive her to hers. </p><p>"Are you alright, Ondine?" the former asked now, school only around the corner. <br/><br/></p><p>"Huh? Yeah, Princess. I'm fine," she answered, watching as her love blushed a little at the name. It was sweet and she loved watching the usually cold girl fluster, but the moment was spoiled when their hands quickly fell apart and the serious girl turned, well, serious again. Confused, and honestly a little hurt, she watched helplessly as her girlfriend gave her a helpless look before racing ahead to her car, where her mother sat. That was a first.  The girl understood of course why she ran away, but it hurt nonetheless.</p><p>Kagami was in the closet, and even if her mother was blind, she still didn't want to risk the two being seen together when her mother was around. When the swimmer was told this she was confused, didn't the fencer like Adrien in Mme. Bustier's class? Kagami had to explain that the boy was only her cover up, and that she really liked her instead. That's also how they conveniently got together in the first place. </p><p>Ondine dragged her feet to her homeroom class, her energy sapped still now that her sun was gone. She managed to make it through the day, but during her last period break she went to the library and felt herself nodding off. She slowly succumbed to sleep, wishing for a dreamless nap instead of nightmare fueled terrors. </p><hr/><p>Flames. They were surrounding her in a large circle with crimson red everywhere else. There was a black figure standing in front of her a few feet away, and even if he was sludge, the girl would recognize him anywhere.</p><p>"R-Robin?" She stuttered, holding her hand out hesitantly. She stopped however, when she felt a negative energy coming off the boy, and frantically grasped at her neck. Smoke. All she could smell was smoke. It was filling her nostrils, her mouth, her lungs. She collapsed to her side and coughed uncontrollably, tears falling down her cheek. She moved her head up, but it was like she suddenly was being pressed down by 100 pound bricks. Slowly she was able to look up and saw her sludge monster brother, and she silently tried to call out for help.</p><p>"Why would I save you? You didn't save me." Robin said, disgusted and bitter. If Ondine could've gasp she would've, but the smoke filling her throat was stopping her. "It's true and you know it. It should have been you Ondine. It should've been you, you monster!"</p><p><em>I know,</em> Ondine thought. <em>It should've been me, it should've been me! </em>The mantra played over and over in the girls head like a broken record. It was always there everyday, <em>it should've been her</em>, but now it was blown full force in her mind, making it the only thing she could think about. Her vision went blurry and all she could hear anymore were the chants of Robin calling her name. As she slowly began to fade away due to lack of oxygen, she could hear a slight change in the boys voice. It almost sounded like...like...</p><p>"-ndine! Hey Ondine wake up!" The teen shot her head up and whipped her head around to see Kim standing next to her with his smart boyfriend by his side. Things between the two swimmers didn't really work out, but they had stayed friends in the end and the girl was proud of him for catching the man of his dreams. She quickly rubbed her tear stained face and smiled, a grin that never really reached her eyes. </p><p>"Hey Kim, what's going on? Another akuma?" The himbo seemed confused. Max just sighed behind him and adjusted his glasses. </p><p>"The swim comp-"</p><p>"OH YEAH THE SWIM COMPETITION! Thanks Maxie!" The boy leaned down to give his boyfriend a kiss on the forehead, whom of which started to blush. The two really were perfect for each other, it must've been a good thing that Kim and her broke up. It allowed these two to get together finally. </p><p>"I just wanted to say good luck tonight at the swim competition! I invited some of my friends in class to watch us!" Kim cheered, not noticing the girl's shocked look. She had a swim competition today. And people were going to be watching her, she wasn't ready! Hurriedly, the redhead gathered her things and made her goodbye's with the fellow swimmer, she had training to do. A some point she took out her phone to text Kagami, but she really wasn't sure.<br/><br/></p><p>
  <strong>Swordfish</strong>
</p><p><em>Just Keep Swimming:</em>  Hey I have a meet later, I'm heading to the pool now to train so I won't be able to walk home with you. Love you!</p><p><span class="u"><em>Fencing Princess:</em> </span> Love, this is not healthy. You swim in the morning and then at night already. </p><p><em>Just Keep Swimming: </em>I need to train for this meet, i'll just cut my time short at the pool later</p><p>There was more notifications saying that Kagami was most likely protesting, but Ondine had turned off her phone and kept it in the locker room. She put on her back up bathing suit as her other was still damp, and then got back in the cold water. She was alone in the pool as most people were still in school, and is was peaceful. However, the door opening and stomping dress shoes making there way towards her lane showed that she wasn't alone anymore. </p><p>"Ondine," came the cold voice of her girlfriend. "This isn't healthy at all. You need to take a break." The taller just sighed and finished her lap before cutting through the water to get some much needed air. She slipped off her goggles and swam to the edge of the pool, staring up at her slightly pissed off girlfriend. </p><p>"Kagami, please. I have a competition later and need to train. Just...just let me do this." she pleaded. She honestly didn't want to fight today, but the topic seemed unavoidable. The shorter of the two sat on the tile ground and glared straight into Ondine's eyes. She was going for intimidation, and honestly after seeing more soft sides of the girl, it really wasn't as powerful as she would've liked.</p><p>"Ondine I'm worried for you, all you do is swim and I fear it will only hurt you in the end. Please just come out and we can talk." </p><p>"No, Princess. I need to get ready. I'll only spend half an hour at the pool later, but please, I need to do this." Ondine was too stubborn for her own good, she knew this, and now was probably not the right time to be dipping into that trait but.... she needed to swim. It was one of the only lifelines she has.  </p><p>"You are spending too much time in that water, I am scared that one day you're going to collapse because you overworked yourself. I care, Love, and I want you to be okay."</p><p>"So you suddenly care huh?" Ondine scoffed, not knowing where it came from. "Since when did this attitude come from?" </p><p>Kagami was taken aback, but she soon recovered and hid her confusion. She could tell there was something else going on behind the scenes. <br/><br/>"Would you like to talk? Keeping everything inside isn't-"</p><p>"Yeah? How are you able to even say that when you can't even talk to your own mother?" The air was tense after the last word was spoken, and Ondine regret it instantly. She shook her head and clumsily pushed herself out of the water, heading for the locker room. </p><p>"Kagami, just go." She muttered, staring at the ground as the left. She was expecting a snarky or malicious come back, but instead there was a soothing and relaxing voice that made Ondine want to turn around and breakdown into her arms.</p><p>"Are you okay? And don't lie this time." She wanted to tell the truth. She really, really, wanted to but... she couldn't think about that night. Instead, she only hesitated before going back on her way to hide out it the locker room until her competition. </p><p>"I'm fine. Just...just go."</p><hr/><p>She sat in the locker room, for how long she didn't know. Although, by the time she begrudgingly left, people had already shown up for the match. </p><p>Marc and Nathaniel were there, holding a sign-and hands- decorated to say 'Go Kim and Ondine!', Mari was there with her boyfriends who waved when they saw the girl, and then Max was busy taking in the sight of his boyfriend wearing nothing but a swim cap and speedo. Other people were there also, like an older man smoking a cigarette, but hey didn't matter. There was no sign of Kagami. Ondine sighed and shook her head, clearing it to get ready for her match. </p><p>"Fuck," the redhead muttered under her breath, dragging her feet. She was sore all over, and was tired from both the swimming and the fighting. She really should've listened to Kagami, but now was too late. Now, she had to do swim again, but that was something she was able to do right? The girl wordlessly greeted Kim, who was spewing about some challenge he wanted to make, but Ondine didn't care.</p><p>Why was she so tired? Why....why was she just so fucking tired? More people entered the pool and sat with the students, but the redhead ignored that in favor of trying to stay on her feet. Quickly, she knelt down beside the water and splashed her face to try and stay alive, not hearing the door open for the last time and the clacking of black dress shoes stopping right next to the crowd. </p><p>"Ondine! Come on, let's go!" Kim yelled, showing that the two were up. She nodded and wearily made her way to her own lane, Kim next to her with some other people to her sides. They waited for what felt like an eternity until she heard the start and dived into the cold water. It shocked her, but she soon got over it in favor not to drown. Time seemed to fly past when she was in the liquid, meaning when she got out she really didn't know how long it had been. But now? Now she was counting every second to when she could get out, to when she would be able to flop down on her bed and never get up again. </p><p>With the last strength the girl had, she finished the match and climbed out of the pool. Her knee's were wobbly like a new born dear, and her head was spinning. She felt like she might...like she might....</p><p>"Ondine!!" came a chorus of voices that only washed over said teens head. She fell to her knees and pushed her hands up on the tile to keep her upper half from falling over as well. Her vision was blurry, and it probably wasn't because of the water dripping from her pixie cut into them. Kim, the nearest to her, had also cried out in alarm like his fellow classmates, but he was the first to act on anything. He leapt forward and helped her stand back up, using him as a crutch. </p><p>She was so tired, she couldn't even thank him, but she tapped his shoulder in thanks. The athlete gave her a small smile before slowly walking her to a bench, setting her down carefully like she might crack at any moment. Suddenly, people flanked her from all sides, both the students that were cheering her on only moments before, and some strangers who were generally worried. </p><p>For once in a long time she yearned for her dad. He was the only family she had left, and he was working all night as a nurse at the local hospital. He worked all night and then slept for most of the day, making the only time she saw him was when she came home from school. And even then, it was for a small period of time. She wished... Ondine wished she was back in the old days, where her, her dad, and then Robin would hang around and build blanket forts together. When her and her dad put together breakdown kits in case anybody had a bad day. She... she missed the company.</p><p>"Are you okay?" asked Marc and Marinette, the two cousins laughing a little for saying it at the same time. The tired one only nodded, still wanting nothing more then to curl up in her bed. She was going to say something, ask to have some space, when she smelt it. It was coming from the man with the cigarette. It was the worst kind of smell. </p><p>Smoke. </p><hr/><p>There he was, dead on the ground. Frantically, the girl crawled over to where her twin was, and placed two fingers on his neck. She sighed, but continued to cough, as she found he still had one. The redhead scanned the room as fast as she could, hoping, <em>needing</em>, to find a way out. She was relieved when something shiny caught through all the blazing fire. A window. They could escape from there!</p><p>Quickly, she shook her brother over and over again, trying to wake him up but also trying not to irritate the blistering burns he had. She cried when he didn't and ignored the tears falling down her freckled face in fear. Ondine, thinking on her feet, wrapped her arms around Robin's shoulders and started to drag him over to the window. They were almost there, they were so close! </p><p>"We're almost there Birdie," she croaked, using the nickname she had given her brother since they were small toddlers. She leaned over him and smiled, not expecting his green eyes to open and stare back at her. Now, she had no idea what she looked like, covered in ash with tear streaks, but she must've not looked like herself as Robin screamed and tried to turn away from her. He flung his arms up and flapped them around, slapping Ondine out of the way. </p><p>He rolled onto his stomach and sat up, cursing at the pain it caused him to do so. He stared at her a few feet away now, in total fear. </p><p>"Birdie, it's me-" she tried, crawling forward to clutch his hand. The boy only slapped it away and crawled back again.</p><p>"No! S-stay away you-you monster!" Robin cried, breaking his twin's heart. He was going to say more, his sister was sure of it, but something interrupted him. The oven set right behind the boy, exploded. </p><p>Ondine's ears were ringing, and she cried out in agony. The explosion had flung her back,  burning her chest and stomach. She screamed at the top of her lungs and tried to sit up, abandoning the thought almost right away when she saw her own seared skin. She whipped her head back and forth until she saw her twin once more, except this time, his eyes were open and lifeless. </p><p>He looked a mess and it made Ondine want to vomit again, but she had nothing left in her. She could only lay there, coughing against the smoke, and crying for her wounds and her brother. The last thing she remembered before darkness engulfed her vision where strange adults coming through door with blinding yellow stripes. </p><hr/><p>Someone was petting her hair. They were raking their fingers through her red locks and it felt... nice. She let a sigh escape her lips and she opened her eyes, finding them to be attacked by sharp red. She winced and looked around some more, slowly coming to the conclusion that she was in her girlfriends car and was currently lying in her lap. She turned her head and saw the gorgeous girl staring ahead. To outsiders it looked like she was simply numb to the world then, but Ondine had been hanging out with her far too long to dismiss that look. She was worried. </p><p>She twisted her head again and found that the two weren't the only people in the car. Tomoe was there as well, sitting in the front seat as well. Ondine's emerald eyes widened and she tried to sit up, scared that her girlfriend had gotten caught in the lies she was telling about their relationship. Instead, she was polity shoved back down, Kagami finally looking down to smile at her. </p><p>"Don't worry, we're taking you with us so you can sleep," she whispered, understanding how exhausted the swimmer must've been. "But you will be staying with me until Neil can pick you up," she finished, saying Ondine's father's name. The taller nodded and closed her eyes again and snuggled back into her girlfriends lap.</p><p>"Thank you Princess," she muttered, silently hoping Tomoe didn't hear the pet name. For a beat there was nothing, until the older woman spoke up, causing both girls in the back seat startle tremendously. </p><p>"Are you two in a relationship?" She boldly asked, earning a small peep from Ondine and a sharp intake of breath from Kagami. Shear terror wrapped it's way through both girls insides as one of them spoke up, dreading what was going to happen next. </p><p>"Y-yes Mother," Kagami stuttered. "We are." There was a beat of silence as they awaited the elders response, and it was agonizing. </p><p>"Does that mean you have no real feelings for Adrien?"</p><p>"No. Not in a romantic sense," the tension was thick, and it acted like it wanted to choke Ondine until she couldn't breath. "Mother... I'm lesbian. I love Ondine'" </p><p>Again, there wasn't a response right away and in that moment Ondine grasped her girlfriends hand in support. They shared a soft smile, and finally Tomoe answered. </p><p>"If you thought I wouldn't except you for liking girls then you are wrong. I am old fashioned, but I am not homophobic," a couple of sighs of joy came from the backseat, "I am aggravated you did not tell me sooner, but I understand." </p><p>"Thank you Mother."</p><p>"Hmph, you are welcome," she said, and then went back to sitting still. Overjoyed, Ondine turned around and wrapped her arms around Kagami's hips, giving her a weird hug of sorts. The bluenette chuckled and returned it, trying to conceal how ecstatic she was. They separated, sooner then what they both liked, and Kagami placed her fingers underneath Ondines chin, tilting her head up. The tan girl flushed at the movement, but blushed deeper when their lips met together in a sweet kiss. Ondine tasted like salt and a hint of chlorine, and the other of peach's and cream. </p><p>They did break, but stopped inches away from each other, simply taking in what had just happened. They smiled simultaneously and began to giggle, Kagami's laugh music to the others ears. They leaned back in, but stopped when a buzzing filled the once quiet car. Surprised, Ondine sat all the way up and reached into her swimming bag that somebody must've grabbed from the locker room. </p><p>"It's my Dad, hold on just let me text him back."</p><p>
  <strong>Family Forever</strong>
</p><p><em>Fun Loving Father Figure: </em> Hey, are you okay? I got some calls from Kagami saying what happened! I'm worried!</p><p><span class="u"><em>Daughter of the Sea: </em></span> Yeah dad, i'm fine. Better now actually. I'm going to Kagami's so you can go back to sleep</p><p><em>Fun Loving Father Figure:  </em>Are you sure? Because just say the word and I'll be right over</p><p><span class="u"><em>Daughter of the Sea: </em></span>Yes, sure. now sleep.</p><p><em>Fun Loving Father Figure: </em>Fine. Love you! &lt;3</p><p><span class="u"><em>Daughter of the Sea: </em></span> Love you too! &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>"Okay," she said, going to turn her phone off. "That should be-"</p><p>"Wait," Kagami interrupted, stopping her girlfriend from turning off her phone completely. "Who's that?" She asked, pointing to the photo of the twins. </p><p>"That's...Robin. He was- er, is my twin," Ondine mumbled. She looked towards the ground, not sure where the conversation was going to go. There was a noise of recognition from her right, and it was actually severely cute. </p><p>"Can you tell me about him?" Kagami asked sweetly, throwing the redhead off guard. She stared at her girlfriend in shock before her features slowly melted into a look of content and love. </p><p>"Yeah...I would love too."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you liked it! Apperently my thing now is to hurt characters lol</p><p>also if u didnt understand who RObin was: Robin is Ondines twin brother that she as close with. When they were younger their father left the two alone one night when he was working as a nurse. Robin was hungry and turned a burner on to cook something, but then procceded to start a huge housefire. Ondine found him dead in the kitchen and she ended up getting burned trying to find him.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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